I Love/Hate My Phone

Until recently, I thought my most pressing problem with my smartphone was stroking out from frustration with the touchscreen. I’m pretty sure my blood pressure goes through the roof during extended bouts of texting.

Me + smartphone = a rocky relationship.

Today I learned there’s a more widespread concern–the dreaded Text Neck.

Dr. Dean Fishman, a Ft. Lauderdale chiropractor who created the term “text neck,” calls the problem “a global epidemic.”  Bending over a phone or tablet frequently, as many people are prone to do, can cause headaches and pain in the shoulders, arms and wrists. Over time, he says, it can lead to permanent arthritic damage. You can read more (and download an app that helps you maintain proper spinal alignment) at Dr. Fishman\’s website.

But text neck isn’t the only problem with cellphones.  Here are a few other hazards to avoid:

  • Being walked into by other pedestrians as you stop in the middle of the street and try to typr a coheremt massage.
  • Breaking a fingernail trying to get the freaking back off the phone to remove and replace the battery.
  • Pulling your back as you lean over the toilet to retrieve the phone dropped therein.  Seriously, 19% of all people will drop their phones into unsuspecting johns.
  • Getting cauliflower ear from the hours you spend on the phone with tech support trying to get the phone to perform all the amazing tricks the ads promised. (I know, I know.  I should have gotten an iPhone. Check back with me in 21 months and 20 days.)

Personally, I’m not willing to go back to a  non-smart phone (is that a dumb phone?), and will have to become more proficient at typing or learn to use the voice recognition feature–it’s one advantage my android-based phone has over all but the most-recent iPhone.

Meanwhile, please accept my apologies in advance for sending you a garbled text.  Be patient, and a clearer one will follow, i primose.

Be welk,


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2 Responses to I Love/Hate My Phone

  1. Michael Touhey says:

    Very phunny!

  2. Valerie says:

    I’m so with ya, sister! Even two teenagers working in tandem couldn’t teach me how to make my phone do what I want it to. I think it would help if I had a big-print screen . . .

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